Up is the Only Way

They say that once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there.

Well there I was, sitting in a wheelchair sobbing like a baby while waiting to board a flight back home after spending an incredible, albeit physically difficult, 10 days in Portugal. Every bone in my body ached when I moved, and I could not walk the slightest incline, let alone stairs, putting one foot in front of the other. I literally had to step up with my left foot, and drag my right behind to meet it, with each ‘drag’ experiencing an excruciating ‘click’ in my groin area. I was 57 years old in a 90-year-old body and I could not imagine how I was going to navigate the stairs to board the plane. My ‘monkey mind’ just spiraled from there.

Rewind about four years earlier and thousands of dollars richer. My passion was teaching and choreographing line dancing. I had even won some awards, but my weight had started to creep up after quitting smoking a few years before, and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to dance without pain. Even though I loved it and it made me happy, the pain was too much to bear and I stopped teaching. One ordinary Sunday afternoon, I was resting on my bed, turned over, and my back went into spasm. I could not walk for days. I was diagnosed with arthritis and disc degeneration. At that time my daughter was seeing a chiropractor and recommended I see him, hence the thousands of dollars, but he got me walking, and through many years of his help, I was relatively pain-free. But the weight continued to creep up and I was now at the heaviest I had been in years.

I didn’t need to be a medical doctor to know that carrying excessive weight causes joint pain, amongst many other health issues. I also don’t need to be a therapist to know that unhealthy relationships, bad break-ups, emotional stress, financial worries, zero exercise, quitting smoking, to name just a few, can pack on the pounds.

And that is how I came to hit rock bottom in a wheelchair in Portugal sobbing like a baby.

I like to think of myself as a diet-program boffin due to my expertise in yo-yo dieting. Throughout my life I have tried almost every diet out there, being long-term successful on very few. I was an emotional comfort eater, coupled with early menopause which screwed with my metabolism, not to mention most diet success story commercials only showcased younger woman, so I felt that the deck was somehow stacked against me. I internally chided myself and felt like a failure each time I fell off the wagon. Finally, I resigned to just work hard on embracing and loving myself exactly as I was, even though I knew that the excess weight was causing havoc on my joints.

Part of the ongoing journey of embracing myself fully and completely is, first and foremost, to be kind to myself. Not set unrealistic and unattainable goals. Understand why I make the choices I make and lay no blame or judgement on those choices. Enjoy every moment with my loved ones being as engaged and present as possible. And perhaps, and most importantly, taking one day at a time.

So, to say I was eternally grateful when I rushed to a ‘lose weight quick’ program, and they could not accommodate me for a consultation at that location nor another on that particular day. I tried everything to get them to 'see' me, and left feeling defeated and frustrated. This forced me to stop, take a step back, and think – what did I need to support me on this journey? And I found Jenny Craig.

Jenny has shown me that I don’t need huge portions to make me feel comforted. Jenny has shown me that I can do this, irrespective of my age or metabolism. Jenny has shown me that it’s my commitment that makes me successful. (I even started eating chicken again after 40 years because I’m THAT committed).

This is not a quick fix or fad diet. If I make less healthy choices sometimes, I’m supported and educated in making better ones. This is slow, consistent, and healthy weight loss, not to mention, the food is delicious and varied. I now think about food differently to ever before, and mostly want to ‘fuel’ my body rather then just ‘feed’ it. This is a way of eating for life and it works.

The biggest achievement for me in all of this is that I can now walk pretty far without much pain. My body is lighter, my attitude is brighter, and my energy is higher.

It’s been 10 weeks so far and I’m down 25.4 lb. And that’s the unglazed cherry on top.